Hell Comes to Frogtown

Guys, take a moment out of your precious time, step aside and take a bow in an animated fashion before this classic of a bad movie. This is one 'hell' of a 'Bad'scar material featuring everything and anything that a bad movie should possess.

We get to see mutants with frog heads (similar in shape but larger in size) armed with heavy ammo, the only virile man alive called 'Hell' who has this 'task' to impregnate women, screwed up gimmicks, bad acting, bad craft and Sandahl Bergman. When we get so much of shit, do we need to ask for more?

Bergman portrays a tight-arsed doc/scientist who engages in some crude eroticism along the way and eventually falls for Hell, our mega-potent hero. A veteran of several B movies, Bergman makes sure that her performance is in sync with all other bad factors with which this movie is ornamented.

The way the mutants are made up is both nauseating and rib-tickling at the same moment. A special mention goes to the lock (in pic) with which Hell's private parts were secured. The lock is connected to Bergman's ear rings in such a way that severe pain is inflicted to our hero's crotch lest he should make any attempts to flee. Wonder how he used to answer the calls of nature while traveling to Frogtown. All in all, never ever give this movie a miss. This is the worst that you can ever ask for.

Vallavan - wow

"Tamil films are creative, technologically advanced with good scripts,talented directors and actors"

This statement usually arises when a mallu has an argument with a tamilian regarding the quality of movies from malayam and tamil. Well, in such a scenario if you want to close the argument and leave on a winning note, ask that tamilian to watch "Vallavan".

Silambarasan a.k.a assol is a student who falls in love with his teacher 3 years older than him. He dons a disguise as a professor wearing a false teeth(quite cute) and finally wins over Nayan "Tara"(The so called teacher). Later she comes to know that he is a student and breaks off the relationship. That's when we come to know abt assol's old relationship with "Reema Sen" in school.

Seeing Chimbu and Reema Sen masquerading as school students is so CUTEEEEEEEE

Chimbu has also managed to enlighten the audience by allowing his dad, Mr Rajendar some scenes during a song.

The theme of the movie - Love(Tamils never improve)

Highlights- Directed by Chimbu with assistance from Rajendar(Seeing the movie you would be forced to belive that most of the inputs had come from rajendar)

Message from the movie - U should do anything that your gf asks from u, even if it includes licking her shoes in public.

Rating - Must Watch(U will get to know what not to do in love :))

DOA - Dead Or Alive

This is one movie based on martial arts that lovers of the genre would love to give a miss. A girl searching for her lost brother ends up in a screwed up mansion where people are pitted against one another in a battle for life. So, we get to see a daughter fighting against her dad and teaching him a trick or two in the process. The mansion is, of course, owned by a megalomaniac and soon some of the contestants join hands to oust him.

Watch it when you are in the mood to see half-naked women fighting against men or against each other.

Crank

If you were an ambitious small time gangster and by chance you had a rival assassin at your mercy, how would you kill him? By injecting some kind of poison into the victim's body? Maybe. But what if the poison is something that would keep your victim alive if the person keeps his adrenaline pumped up? Sounds illogical? Yes. That's why we have a movie like 'Crank' which features Jason Statham running and jumping around LA, all to keep himself alive and to finish off his rivals.

If causing damage to shopping malls or creating havoc in hospitals can't satiate his need for epinephrine, Statham cajoles his Miss-two-goody-shoes girlfriend to have sex with him in broad day light with half of Chinatown watching them intently. The final sequence where he talks on the phone while free falling from a plane is worth a mention.

Lokanadhan IAS

Starring: Kalabhavan Mani

We all love bad movies. Otherwise, we would be doing better things than pushing and prodding the cursor through some mambo-jumbo most people would find difficult to connect with. We love bad movies because they audaciously question our level of intelligence, test our patience and subject us to varying degrees of boredom, despair, alacrity and even entertainment. And then there is Lokanadhan IAS, a movie so bad that it ensures that any viewer is tortured to the fullest.

Lokanadhan(Mani), the son of a slain political activist, is an Indian Administrative Service aspirant who resides in a slum. He drives an auto-rickshaw to make ends meet and pops up at the right moment to save his fellow drivers from onslaught. Things take a far more worse turn when he gets selected for IAS.

We get to see a brown colored envelope in Mani's hands and the next thing we know is that he is posted as the Collector for his home district. How misinformed we were when we thought that the chance for a trained IAS candidate to get posted in one's home state, let alone the home town, was minuscule. Mind you, then, that we thought the training itself lasted for a couple of years and it took several years of service before for one could get posted as District Collector.

From then on, scenes filled with crass dialogues and crude action fly past your eyes, ears and brain at break-neck speed. Lokanadhan's actions as the District Collector leaves you numb for its outright stupidity and lack of logic. It gets worse when he quits his job and moves onto politics and finds himself a spot in the newly elected ministry. The plot is stretched till an overly done finale where the villain is finished off mercilessly.

Last Word: 'The Unimaginable' would have been a suitable title if this socio-bureaucratic-political drama were to be christened in English.